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Where Is This Going?






This is when our homeschool journey began...my babies.

 This May, Michael and I will be married 25 years. In the fall, Brooke and Noah will be entering their senior and junior year of college, respectively.  And my baby, my silly Lily, will be graduating high school and Lord willing joining her collegiate siblings.

 For ten years, I've agonized, planned, prayed, delighted, chauffeured, cried, and joyfully homeschooled my three blessings. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with myself.

 A "homeschooling" mama is who I've been for 10 years! So much of my time went into educating and being a very present part of my kids' lives and little by little, it's going away. My heart aches.

 Before that, life was so busy. I worked full time. Came home, cooked dinner and tidied the house. Then helped with homework unless it was Tuesday night, that's soulwinning. And Wednesday was bible study and Master Club so we inhaled dinner quickly on those nights. Then more homework, chores, running errands...my head is spinning thinking about how busy we were!

 Homeschooling was a time to slow down and linger. Going to the library or the park to "do" school. Watching history documentaries for social studies. Sitting around and reading books for the fun of it! 

 Don't get me wrong, it was a LOT of hard work, especially once we hit high school courses but, I miss looking around the house and seeing the kids busy doing their work or challenging each other with multiplication drills or just watching a movie or show together.

 The house is so quiet now. Something I longed for back in the day and now the quiet is  almost deafening.

 Now, I wonder, where is this all going? Do I go back to work? Will I be able to go back to work?! After all, it was because of my horrific, failed foot surgery that I had to stop working. Then the Lord lead me to homeschool soon after my recovery. It gave me purpose again. I cannot be the one to sit still and do nothing.

 Homeschooling the children was one of the most fulfilling adventures of my life, next to being wife to my best friend!

 I have to admit, I'm scared of what the future holds. I know my propensity for comfort and well, I'll just say it, laziness.

 Yes! I'm embarressed to admit it, but I can be downright lazy! It's a characteristic I loathe most about myself. Also, being a "kept" woman without pulling my weight around here is not something that appeals to me in the least. There is only so much tidying up, cooking and running errands I can do, when it's just the two of us. I was raised by very strong, independant women whom always contributed either in part, or in whole to their household.

 I'm not really sure what my new role will be beside my continued role of being my hardworking hubby's wife (I love and appreciate that man so much:). Maybe the Lord will have me sit still a while...BUT hopefully not too long.

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